A Quickie…

This is unedited so excuse grammatical errors like run-ons and missed punctuation and other stuff that doesn’t seem to fit. (I don’t even know what a run-on is. I’m sure some of you do.)

I spent the evening answering emails to long lost friends and people I know from all over. It’s amazing how cool some people can be. As I was writing personal things I decided that this blog is something I should give up because Thirty Seconds is my deal…my belief…and why does it matter what I think beyond that.

So…I’m not sure I will keep this going. But I DID feel the need to post tonight for some reason. Maybe because I’m starting to see that people really DO care more than I thought. They may not know how to communicate…and clearly they take our lead (the cancer people)…but they are not silent because they don’t care. They just don’t know what the hell to do. It wasn’t that long ago I was the same way.

Whatever. I just want to say that despite the shit…on a night like tonight…I realize that we are all in this mess together. Those of us who don’t understand that…and isolate ourselves…are the miserable ones.

As I said…this is going nowhere. Just know that new lessons present themselves everyday. Not new to the world…but new to me. (And sorry this is so lame.)

Published in: on January 17, 2009 at 4:41 pm  Leave a Comment  

Be Where You Are to Move On

Moving on after a major life change or upset is difficult to do…seems almost impossible most of the time. We spend a sh*t load of time…of our :30 seconds…reliving what was…what we lost…maybe missing what might have been. Our thoughts are everywhere but where we are…even though we want to get the hell out of where we are. We want to move on…but we are trapped by the hurt, or anger, or jealousy or any number of destructive emotions that keep us in the pit. It’s all so exhausting and sometimes we can’t wait for the day to end because it hurts so f*cking bad. What kind of life is that? Wasted…if we stay there.

I did a little experiment on myself today. I sat down with a notepad and tried to write down everything that popped into my head over a five minute stretch. It is NOT an easy thing to do because our brains are on crack compared to what we are capable of writing. What I found when I was done was a bunch of disconnected thoughts that were rarely “here”…but more “there.” They were worrisome, scared, self-righteous, jealous, with very few good things on the list.

That’s when I realized for about the 798th time that I rarely think about or experience what it going on in the present moment. I’m too caught up thinking about the sh*ttiness of life and how things would be better if only this hadn’t happened…or that would happen. And so I am stuck…but I want to move on…and away from the sh*ttiness.

I read a book by Eckhardt Tolle called, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. In a nutshell he explains that the end of all suffering is for us to accept where we are…and be present…and life won’t be all that bad. (If you haven’t read it don’t go any further. Click the link above and buy it…NOW.)

I repeated my experiment only this time I recorded everything I was experiencing and/or seeing over another 5 minutes. The results were kind of amazing. While the list was hardly dramatic I realized when I was done that I had climbed out of the pit for that full 5 minutes. I didn’t really care about the past or the future or even what I was going to have for dinner tonight. None of it mattered…because it’s not even real.

And then it occurred to me that I had “moved on” during that 5 minute “be present” exercise. Are my problems still there? I guess so…but I’m not sure because they are never actually happening. They may have happened…or will happen…but right now…well…they are only mental pictures.

I suggest you do the same exercise and see what happens. Write out your random thoughts on the first go ’round. Then…spend another 5 minutes completely aware of where you are. What you see, hear, smell, taste, feel and anything else you’re capable of experiencing. I think it will be a good thing for you. I think you’ll find that for a brief moment you were free from the heavy issues that are stealing your time here.

I hope to spend more time there…or…here…so I can move on. What a crazy paradox, huh? Be where you are to move on. Let me know how it goes.

Published in: on January 5, 2009 at 9:54 am  Comments (1)  
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