On Courage…

“To dwell on things that depress or anger us does not help in overcoming them.  One must knock them down alone.” ~Albert Einstein

One of my all time favorite quotes.  It sounds defeatist at first…but when you really sit and think about it…it’s dead on true. 

Yes…we need people to lean on at certain times…to share our fears and regrets with…and I can tell you there is a certain amount of comfort there.  But the reality is that the others can only do so much for us.  At the end of the day…when the lights are turned off…and you are alone with just you…that’s when it gets hard.  That’s when things get tricky…and we wonder if we can make it through the trials that hang around our neck.  It is also when we hurt the most…and realize, “This is MY problem.  Only I can get through this.”  That is a crazy, lonely place.  But there you are.

Take That First Step

It’s a monumental task…that first step.  To me it is quieting our thoughts for even the briefest of moments.  It is SO much easier said than done…I get that.  But start with a single thoughtless breath…or let yourself just be sad for a little while…not thinking how you got here…or how it sucks so bad.  Just be sad without thinking. 

Now you try.  I’ll wait.

I know your problems have not disappeared in the 2.3 seconds you spent not thinking…but if you’re like me there is a little glimmer of strength that wasn’t there before.  Perhaps you knocked a bit of sh*ttiness down in that short time.  And you did it by yourself.  Maybe Albert was on to something.  Rumor has it he was a pretty intelligent guy.  He might be worth listening to.
(NOTE: This pic may seem like a departure from the rock star inspirations…but Sir Albert bears a striking resemblance to David Crosby.  It also took a bit of courage to wear those shorts I’ll bet…)

Published in: on April 17, 2009 at 5:22 pm  Comments (1)  
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Sh*t…I’m an Emo!

Bright Eyes
Bright Eyes

I’ve been sitting here reading blogs from all over the world…you know…trying to see how I stack up.  I thought I was a decent writer, but there are so many great writers out there I’m not exactly sure anymore.  I happened upon a couple of realizations as I was peeking in on other bloggers lives, and they aren’t pretty.

One of Many

First off, there are A LOT of people out there in cyberland searching for answers by giving them.  We are very easy to find.

This came as a bit of a shock to me because I thought I was the only inhabitant of Poor-Me-Ville.  True, Lindsay Lohan moved in early last week, but she won’t stay long.  Rich, hot, celebs visit their gated community condos…but they don’t actually live there. 

Imagine my surprise when I realized there are actually 7.31 Ka-billion bleeding hearts living right here with me in Poor-Me-Ville.  So much for originality.  (I’m still the mayor though…)  So I’m one of many…I can live with that.

This was worse…

I fancy myself a bit of a sage…wiser for the tough issues a cancer diagnosis presents…wanting to teach others what I’m learning along the way.  I was thinking, “This growth…the pain…the raw emotions that come from a universal crowbar to the head…they must be worth something.   I don’t want to feel all this stuff and hold it in.  Maybe I can help others…maybe not.  I’m damn sure helping myself, though.”  And that is when realization #2 chimed in, “Sh*t!  I’m an EMO!”

Crap

I don’t know if I’m even young enough to be an emo.  I definitely don’t have enough hair to look like I just rolled out of bed and don’t give a damn about how I look.  I also don’t have 45 minutes to make myself look like I just rolled out of bed and don’t care how I look.  (I think the emo look takes some real effort.)  This is upsetting…because I thought I was a lonely, over emotional SOB.  Turns out I’m in good company.  Crap.

Published in: on April 14, 2009 at 6:12 pm  Comments (6)